Insomnia

I just want to sleep!

Maybe this is Fight Club.........

Batman

I love Batman me.

Batman suffered and emotional trauma in his youth, had a bit of a breakdown, trained as a ninja, put on some black clothes, has a cool car and punches criminals.

He's loaded too.

Some people would say he has some deep seated issues and needs help mentally.

HE'S A FUCKING NINJA IN A CAPE AND COWL!!!

His mortal enemy is a clown.
He punches clowns.
In the face.
YES!!!!

The world would be a better place if he existed.

BE TOLD!!!

Clowns: An existential conundrum

No they are not.

They are fucking horrible.

SERIOUSLY.

I fucking hate clowns.

I'm not even talking about Pennywise here, I'm taking about them:

And her

And him

AND THE REST OF THEM!!!!

The fear of clowns is called Coulrophobia.

See, I think it might be the whole uncanny valley principle going on here.  The human mind is attuned to how things should look.

Faces aren't just 2 eyes, a nose and a mouth, there are certain proportions that need to work.  There are boundaries.

Some people are shocked by deformity and abnormal growth, some people can't handle the sight of blood.

You look at a clown, you know it's a person, but it's not their face you see, it's the clowns.  You won't see the real person.  Your brain can't separate the two.

This whole painted on smile and shit, what's that about?  

Why do you need to paint on your smile Mr Clown?  Is it because you're unhappy with the choices you've made in life?  Is it because scared someone will find out about all the bodies you've hidden?  

Is it to entice people in so they feel more comfortable before you drug them with the drugs you keep in your big trousers?

Why are you're shoes so big?  Is that so you've got better grip on the floor when you're wading through all the blood you spill?

Why are you always falling down and capering?  Is it because you're drunk with power? 

Is it?

IS IT?

YOU CREEPY BASTARDS!!!

WE ONLY LAUGH AT YOU BECAUSE WE'RE AFRAID!!!

BE TOLD!!!!

I AM THE KNIGHT!

See this

This is metal.

No, not because it's a Dark Knight and it's Batman (well partly).

But because it has two characteristics that makes it metal.

Characteristic 1
It's how it moves.
2 along then 1 at 90 degrees.

If you're a guitarist you'll get this if not then prepare for metal 1-0-1.

Metallurgy:  The Science of Metal!!!

Take any note on the low E string of a guitar (or B string if you're a 7 stringer).
We'll use the 2nd fret on the E string (F#).

Place your index finger on that note.

Now look up 2 frets and then look at the note on the next string up, the A string.  That note is C#.
Put your pinky or 3rd finger on that note.
Whack up some distortion.
Plays these note together.

That's an F# power chord (Example 1) right there.  You've just done gone and did metal.

example 1 (rendered as photo real in MS Paint)

Keep your your hand roughly in that position and move up 1 fret to G.  Your other finger is now on the 5th fret of the A string and that's a D.
Play those 2 notes together, that's a G power chord.

Pick a note, up 2 down 1.

METAAAAAL!

Now just play the open E string and the 2nd fret on the A string with your index finger.
That is E5.
Metallica, Megadeth, Pantera, Slayer, Black Sabbath made a killing out of that chord.

These 2 notes are the root and the 5th of the E minor scale.  Which is the relative minor scale of G major theory fans.

Characteristic 2:

Vengers horse.

Venger and his flying demon horse are awesome.
This is a fact.

Venger is voiced by Peter Cullen.

Peter Cullen is Optimus Prime.

Optimus Prime is metal!

Peter Cullen is Metal!

Venger is METAL!!!

VENGERS BLACK, FLYING, DEMON HORSE IS METAAAAAL!!!!!!

Using science to prove this:

= \m/

The next time you play chess and someone moves their knight remember:

Optimus Prime plays power chords from Vengers horses ass.

This is where Doom comes from.

That's why it's awesome.

Also, Batman.

BE TOLD!!!!