Forming quickly under extreme heat

This whole going to the toilet thing, what's that all about.

You eat, you poop.

What's the big deal, why's it not considered polite conversation?
I love talking about poop and pooping and poopterology (the study of pooping).

You see, at work if you stand up and go "we'll I'm off for a shit, I'll probably play Hill Climb Racing on my phone or something" you get some weird looks.  
Not just from women either (who obviously don't poop, how dare you suggest such a thing!).

I love my time on the toilet, it gives me time to reflect and, well, play Hill Climb Racing on my phone (DAMN YOU WB!!!!).  Here's a list of suggested activities for men on the "fecal dispososal system".

1. Short gaming session (Tetris on the original Gameboy is the winner here*)
2. Reading Calvin and Hobbs
3. Reading Batman Comics
4. Reading Shampoo bottles
5. Get the inside of your nose really clean
6. Seeing how long you can hold your breath
7. Asking yourself; "what would I do if i were..."

*can lead to dead legs and funny walk/ pins and needles, basic toilet comedy.

Also, you get to put the world to rights in your head as a great big brown poop comes out yer bum.  Quite frankly there are few feelings better than that.  
To know you've just got rid of a lot of waste products that, well quite frankly, smell like shit.  That's a good feeling.

I used to wonder why it was a generic brown colour, but from an art point of view when you mix loads of paint together you generally get a lovely tertiary brown.
Unless you've eaten a raspberry slushie/ Slush Puppy.  Then it's a weird pale green colour.

I did once do a white one that had the consistency of hard clay, that was awful.  God knows what I had eaten.
It was the worst pain ever.

You see, poop is a fascinating substance, it's basically a form of human produced putty.
You could get one of those Playdoh barber shop play sets and give all the guys jobby hair.  Oh man, how good would that be?
I'm going to Argos on payday.

There's also a darker side to poop, it's just weird and you're weird for asking about it.  Weirdo!  STOP STEALING MY POOP!!!  POOP THIEF!!!!

Let's just say this guy's name is just wrong:
(C)rap music?

Although the start is basically the words my poop make when they are "born to the pool".

Coffee is a bowl movement accelerator too.

BE TOLD!!!