Beard Science 5:The End? Part A:The Beginnings of Joy IV

It's that time of year, the time for a man dressed in red with a beard to defy all the laws of time and space and in one night deliver everything to everyone.

Now, I've mentioned in previous posts here that Hans Tritolulak used his beard to alter the laws of time and space to discover DNA before it was discovered.

Sinterklaas, or more the more commonly known "Santa Claus" was part of a secret alien experiment to alter the laws of causality using what was then known as a "baaarvd".

My representation of these aliens.  

(This is is no way a really badly Photoshopped Star Wars character.)

These experiment involved firing large quantities of horned deer at a baaarvd at close to the speed of light, infusing them with the energy needed to bend time and space.
Very little is known about the actual details as the aliens fucked off and didn't write anything down.

The result of these was the creation of Santa.

Scott Ian is Not, I repeat NOT Santa

Now I don't really need to discuss Santa on this blog post as most of you will know who or what he is.

Suffice to say even though he appears magical, he is in fact quite rooted in reality.

History states that Sinterklass day would have been celebrated on the 5th of December to celebrate his passing but this has since been moved to coincide with the birth of JC.
JC being John Cranville of course, the noted shepard/ research physicist.
He is believed to be originally conceived as part of an alien experiment to repopulate the beard on earth.

There's some dude called Jesus also, never met him, apparently good on the decks.

MC Jesus

Cranvilles work in beard theory was quite primitive, he did only have goats beards to work with as he was sadly bereft of chin follicles, at the time but was used as the base of Titolulaks work being furthered.

Truth accepted....

If I may be so bold, I'd like to conclude this science fact series on a bit of whimsy.

Beards make you happy,
Beards make you strong,
Beards are very awesome,
Beards are never wrong.

Thanks for watching and be sure to tip your waitress.

And remember the Word of the Great Tritolulak:

"If your chin is hidden, thy will be bidden, if the chins on show, let it grow."

Tritolulak:  Myth, legend, Ulitmate reality.

BE TOLD!!!!